Dear Joanna,

I have been receiving ongoing feedback from my manager regarding a recent report that I submitted to her in my role as Office Manager. On one hand, she says to me “Good report; I suggest that you modify sections A and B”. The next time, she simply states “This is no good. Try it this way.” I am so confused and honestly, I’m quite hurt. I don’t understand what I am doing wrong? Then again, maybe my work is just fine! I cannot figure her out and whether this is positive or negative feedback or just plain criticism.

Am I misunderstanding her because of cultural differences between us? Do you have any tips on giving and receiving feedback at work in Canada?

Signed: Feedback Tips (FT)

Dear FT:

Sometimes it is difficult to understand the feedback that you get from employers in a Canadian workplace analyzing what they mean can definitely be a challenge. I will refer to Lionel Laroche, an expert in intercultural communications as well as to JVS Toronto’s Canadian Workplace Communication program that helps internationally trained and experienced professionals from the architecture/design, IT and banking, finance and accounting sectors. This information is relevant to any employee who is facing workplace challenges, such as giving and receiving feedback.

An important part of communicating successfully in any workplace is the ability to give and receive feedback in the form of constructive criticism. In workplace environments where team work is common, the exchange of ideas, reviewing and revising work plans and reports, and debating strategies are part of everyone’s daily activities.

People perceive feedback differently. Some are more sensitive than others; they may also have difficulty giving feedback because they feel they are criticizing someone. Yet, feedback plays a crucial part in the Canadian workplace. Employees are expected to share ideas, give input, and give feedback on team projects.

Some tips in dealing with negative feedback:

1. Listen carefully and know when to recognize negative feedback.

There is a tendency in Canada to mask negative feedback with positive comments in order to ‘soften the blow’. This form of negative feedback is rarely found in other cultures. In Canada, (and among many English-speaking cultures) it might be the first warning you receive that indicates you are having performance issues that need to be addressed. You will need to learn to hear the negative comment and correct your actions before your boss has to come to address it again. Failure to understand that you are being giving negative feedback will likely be perceive by your boss as an inability to follow direction. This is could be considered good reasons for termination.

2. Analyze the feedback: Analyze the feedback statements you receive in terms of these 3 Negative Feedback Categories:

a. The Sandwich (the positive-negative-positive statement)

This type of negative feedback statement is often the first you will hear from your boss. Because it is masked with two positive comments, it is easy to think that you are actually being praised when in fact the opposite is happening. For example:

“I really like how you have structured this report, but there are a few oversights I’d like you to address. Great first effort!”
“I am really impressed with how much you have learned since you started last week, but a few concerns have arisen regarding the way you deal with clients.It seems that you tend to take a rather brisk tone with people and we’ll need you to soften that up a bit. As you are such a great salesperson, I am sure some of that talent can be applied to dealing with difficult clients as well.”

b. The Open-faced Sandwich (the negative-positive statement)

This will likely be the form of the second warning coming from the boss. The negative feedback will still be masked with positive comments but will likely be a little more prominent.

“I see you are still having some difficulties with the processes surrounding reporting. As you have such a developed sense of detail, I am sure that if you focus a little more attention on the particulars, things will come together just fine.”
“We have received a few complaints about your briskness with clients. I know it’s hard to deal with disgruntled clients but I’d like you to try to soften your approach somewhat. How about using that great sense of humour you have to keep things a little more diplomatic?

c. Just the Meat (a direct negative statement)

If you hear your boss giving you purely negative feedback, then you can be sure that you are in big trouble. There is a good chance that there will be serious consequences, termination being one of them, if you do not address the problem immediately.

“Your reporting is consistently not meeting the standards of this organization. I have given you a number of warnings but have not seen an improvement. If am afraid I have to report this problem to upper management.”
“Your manner of dealing with clients is not appropriate. I have warned you a number of times but you have not made any effort to improve. This is your last warning.”

4. Use the Right Words for the Right Situations.

Watch out for the particular words which are used in negative situations. Look at the term “Performance Issues” as an example. This is a formalized way of saying you are not doing your job up to the standards of the organization, and are at risk of losing your job. The word ‘issue’ is being used instead of ‘problem’ which is a stronger and more direct word that more clearly describes the situation. Canadians instead choose the word ‘issue’ to be more politically correct, because it is considered too harsh and personal to say that someone has performance problems.

Using the word ‘problem’ in the wrong situation can make everyone believe that things are really wrong, even when they are not. As a result, it is important to learn how to use the right word in the right situation, as well as to understand the real meaning of a word you are hearing as it applies to feedback you are being given.

5. Check-in and qualify.

You can always ask your manager for a 5-minute meeting just to make sure that you are on the same page regarding your performance. BE OPEN to any feedback; this could be a learning opportunity for you to gain more information, skills and knowledge required for the position.

FT, there is no harm in asking your manager to email you the feedback and what she would like to be improved. You can use this information as a list of areas to improve and start implementing this in your work. The ability to take charge with clarifying your manager’s feedback will be perceived as a sign of a good leader.

Best of success with your job,

Joanna

Angry businesswoman arguing with businessman about paperwork fai

Employers have been known to ask some difficult questions during a job interview, such as “What is your biggest weakness?” or “What salary do you think you deserve?” But have you ever been asked to talk about a time when you faced conflict on the job? What did you say? It can be tempting to pretend you never had a conflict or tell part of the story and leave out all the negative stuff. Job seekers worry their answers may reflect poorly on them and decrease their chances of getting the job they are interviewing for.

While it isn’t easy to talk about criticism or conflict in a job interview, you need to have an answer that is truthful and professional. And the best way to do that is to handle criticism properly when it happens.

The Emotional Side of Receiving Criticism

Dealing with criticism is a challenge for all of us. We all want to have the respect of our colleagues and to think that we are doing our job well. So being told that you are doing something badly can be painful to hear.

It is easy for us to see criticism as an attack in which we might “fight back” – response defensively, confronting the critic or throwing accusations back at them – or we may “flee” where we sulk or perhaps complain to others. Either way the issue is not resolved and neither response is good for our working relationships.

Tips for Handling Criticism

1. Take a moment to process.
Don’t respond immediately. Set aside your initial reaction and take the time to think about the criticism objectively before responding. You may need to find a quiet space to contemplate or discuss it with a trusted colleague or friend.

2. Be aware of your tone.
For criticism to be productive, both sides must express themselves calmly and respectfully. One of the most effective things you can do in dealing with criticism is to keep control over your tone of voice.

3. Clarify and acknowledge.
The first step when responding to criticism is to clarify what was said. Make sure you understand what you’ve been told.

Then acknowledge the other person’s point of view. If you think that their feedback is rational and reasonable, then acknowledge that. This deescalates the situation for both you and the critic allowing them to expand on their thoughts and/or offer solutions once they understand that you are listening. Even if you do not agree with the criticism, you can still acknowledge what the other person is saying.

Example:

Supervisor: Your desk is such a mess. Why are you so disorganized?

Employee (calmly): You’re saying that I am disorganized because my desk is mess. Looking at my desk right now, I can see why you’d think that.

4. Offer a solution.
People are much more likely to accept an apology if it comes without excuses. If the criticism is reasonable, simply acknowledge your part in the mistake and offer to change it. If you require assistance in order to fix the mistake, then ask for it.

Example:

I will have it done by the end of Friday. I would also like to meet with you at some point to discuss how I can better stay on top of this paperwork.

5. Explain (if necessary).
Once the issue has been acknowledged, and if you think it is necessary, calmly explain your side of the story.

Example:

I can see why you would think that my desk is a mess. I need to do something to make sure that it doesn’t appear that way. However, I am actually in the middle of preparing document packages and have spread the papers out so I can sort through them.

6. Set boundaries.
You might feel the need to address the way the criticism was given, e.g. if the criticism was done in a public space or in a way that you believe was unfair. Also, if you genuinely think the feedback was unwarranted, you could express that. Use this moment as an opportunity to treat others the way you would like to be treated — without anger, and in a clear and direct way.

Example:

Also, I’d like to discuss how you gave this feedback. In future, I would prefer it if you would speak to me privately if you have a concern.

Answering “How do you handle criticism on the job?” in a Job Interview

Like any difficult interview question, preparing your answer ahead of time is key. Prepare for this question by thinking back to a time when you received feedback at work. Ideally, you want to tell the interviewer about a time where you handled the conflict gracefully and rectified the mistake immediately and with efficiency. Give enough detail so it sounds authentic but don’t dwell on the mistake.

If you haven’t deal with a conflict well, you can simply acknowledge that. It may impress an employer to hear that you realize that dealing with criticism is something you need to work on (That’s true for most of us, if we were honest with ourselves). Follow it up with how you would now handle it differently.

Tip: Stay away from recriminations against the person who offered the criticism. You want to show the interviewer that you are able to consider the validity of the criticism and arrive at a solution.

Example:

Interviewer: Tell about a time you faced criticism on the job. How did you handle it?

Candidate: I try to always work on handling criticism better. I think I’ve improved a lot over the years. In my last job, my supervisor walked my cubicle and was very critical of how messy it was in a very public way. She expressed concern that I was disorganized. I was able to respond calmly to her initial comment, promising to tidy up, and we made a time to meet and discuss concerns I had about paperwork in the office. We were able to devise a system that enabled me to stay on top of the paperwork.

Interviewer: Is your desk less messy now?

Candidate: It’s not perfect but I have definitely improved now that I have some systems in place. I was pleased to deal with the issue openly with my supervisor.

Remember, the reason employers ask this question in the first place is that they want to know whether you have the capacity to evaluate yourself and accept critique from others. You are allowed to be imperfect. Showing that you are honest and dedicated to self-improvement makes you a more interesting and valuable employee.

Ask the Employment Specialist: Do you have any tips on giving and receiving feedback at work?

Joanna

Tackling Difficult Job Interview Questions: “How do you handle criticism on the job?”

The Emotional Side of Receiving Criticism

Tips for Handling Criticism

Answering “How do you handle criticism on the job?” in a Job Interview